| The basics The Gender Spectrum Am I Gender Variant? My friend just came out Pronouns Definitions Rarely Asked Questions | PronounsSo what pronouns do you use for a gender variant person? This is often a question people are very concerned about when they learn that someone they know is a gender variant, but strangely enough, they never think its appropriate to ask their friend what pronouns ey prefers. Here’s a hint – ask! A lot of gender variant people have their own pet pronouns and it’s polite to use them. If you do make a mistake – apologise. Below I've outlined some of the sets of pronouns that are becoming more commonly used amongst gender variant people (please note, the examples of each type of pronoun originally came from Wikipedia).
As you can see, there are a number of different sets of pronouns that can be used. I would recommend that if you do not know which set a gender variant person would prefer to be refered to by (incidentally, I prefer the Spivak set for myself), you should use the plural pronouns in a singular sense. Using this set has a number of advantages. Firstly, virtually everyone will know them! Whilst it may take a few minutes thought when you first use them in a singular sense, it rapidly gets easier. Another good reason to use these is that they have historically been used as singular neuter pronouns in English. This means that you're not creating new pronouns, you're simply reverting to an older usage of common words. Indeed, in certain regional dialects the plural pronouns are still used in their singular neuter sense in addition to their plural sense. The last thing to add on pronouns – never call a gender variant person it (unless they have specifically requested that you use that pronoun). Doing this shows that you do not value this person as a human and hence you are not a very nice person. |
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